Nick and Nancy Fabry

Married: June 21, 1958

Received the Lord Jesus Christ — April, 1969

Rochester, New York

Looking Back...

Words cannot declare how much we treasure our marriage, our home and each member of our family.  Except for our personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we know of nothing that brings more satisfaction than time spent with each other over the last 50 years.   Our immediate family has grown from the two of us to a family of 5, and now we happily enjoy an extended family of 23.  We all experience life “in the fast lane”.   Each member is active, creative, growing and learning.  We place a high premium on mutual respect and trust.   We enjoy discussing issues and often help each other with projects.

However, the last thing you should imagine is that ours is the perfect family.  Just like you and yours, we are imperfect, occasionally frustrated and irritable.  We have tried hard to overlook our differences and focus on each one’s strengths, but it isn’t as easy as some literature makes it look.  True Biblical love is different than the love portrayed in books.  John 3:16 says:  “For God so loved the world that He GAVE…” and in I John 3:18 we are told not to love in word…but in deed and truth.  Loving gestures keep the embers glowing.

Faith is essential!  The Bible has been the foundation of any wisdom we have been able to impart to our numerous offspring. The lessons we’ve learned while traveling the road of married life have not always come easily.  Some things it has taken us years to figure out.  Others have been so basic to our relationships that they have been in place for many years.

An understanding of what the Bible teaches about the “Rejection Syndrome” has been the most basic.  I Peter 3:8,9 says: “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing but contrariwise blessing: knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing”.  Rejection will destroy a home faster than anything.   Like so many things the Bible teaches, it goes against our nature to give acceptance back when we experience rejection!  He says, “I don’t like…” Her response is, “Why don’t you ever…” and on it goes.  Each person becomes increasingly critical.  The downward spiral can be stopped immediately by a response such as, “I’m sorry you don’t like…”, by saying something nice, or by saying nothing at all.  A conflict can escalate into the relationship level if not controlled.  We’ve had to recognize the difference between an inconvenience and a real problem.   Some things really don’t matter but if it does, as a couple we try to search for a solution.

Finally, it’s been said that to lose the gift of laughter, wrinkles the soul.  Most of the time we don’t make a big deal out of disagreements / annoyances.  We try to laugh off our frustrations.  For example, now that the children are grown, we only have each other to blame, so if an item is missing or when dirt is tracked in, we have an answer.  “Someone or somebody now lives in our home and we know that it is that somebody or someone’s fault!”