Traditions are an important part of life. As we explore traditions in this issue of The Pulse, we will see Jewish Marriage traditions that help our understanding of scripture, traditions from families, young people that we know and love, and from our missionaries around the globe. We hope you will enjoy and learn as you read about them.

Behold... the Bridegroom Cometh!!!
by Jan Jalowiec

As women, we all have a passionate desire to be loved and accepted. At times we strive in our relationships with parents, husbands, siblings and children. We seek to be "good enough" in their eyes so they will return our affection. To love and to be loved is one of the most critical needs a human has. Everyone has the desire to live her life for a purpose and have a positive effect on the people in her life. The problem arises when we begin to look in the wrong places for that affirmation of who we are and what we are to become.

To truly know the purpose we were created for, we must become intimately acquainted with the One who created us. The Bible says in Colossians Chapter 1 that Jesus is the one who created us, and that He is the head of the body which is the church. In digging a little more into that verse, I pondered, "What does it really mean to be the church?" What I discovered both excited and amazed me!

As the church, we are referred to as many things in the Bible. We are "the Beloved", "the friend", "the body", and "the bride", just to name a few. In studying these out, "the bride" began to jump out of the pages at me. What does it mean to be the bride of Christ? I remember hearing a long time ago of a study portraying a traditional Jewish betrothal and wedding as being a direct picture of Jesus Christ and His redemption of us, His bride. That sent me on a study that has renewed my relationship with my Groom, and deepened my understanding of His passionate love for me!

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Through wisdom is an house builded, and by understanding it is established. And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4

Our Family Traditions
by Barb Stiles

Most families have traditions particular to their family. As a mom, I wanted to make special memories my family would always cherish and even incorporate into their families as adults.

As I sat down to think about and list our family traditions, I came up with a list of fourteen. I will briefly list and speak to each one. They are in no special order of importance, except for the first one.

1. God and church activities always came first in our family. "In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence, and his children shall have a place of refuge." Prov. 14:26. As our children became teens and applied for jobs at Pizza Hut, Burger King, and McDonald's, they wrote on their applications, not available on Sunday or Wednesday night. They all got jobs, while putting God first.

2. Sunday night was always homemade pizza night.

3. Supper was our family together time. We worked our schedules so we all could eat together and discuss our day. It was a time of much fun and closeness as a family. Unfortunately today, this important time together is not a priority in many homes.

4. We developed a love of reading in our children as they saw my husband and I read. It took our son much longer than the girls to get with the tradition, but...it finally took hold. Today, when we get together, we pass books around that we have read. Books are also always on the Christmas lists.

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Heart in My Hand!
by Andrea

My daughter, Ava, started preschool a couple of weeks ago. Overall she has been doing well but has several moments throughout the day when she gets sad and misses me. I've been very concerned about this...talking to her teacher about it several times...concerned that it was going to hold her back from enjoying the experience of preschool.

That afternoon, when picking Ava up from school, I noticed that she was playing with little girls on the swing set. This was a change because normally she was attached to her teacher and not playing with the other kids. When she saw me, she ran up to me like normal and gave me a hug. Not thinking much about it, as she got in the car, she turned, raised her hand, and showed me the smudged heart I'd drawn that morning. She told me, "See Momma, I carried your love with me all day." This, of course, almost made me start crying right there!

Later that evening, I started thinking about nurturing and protecting my daughter's heart. I know that God loves us as his daughters and wants to nurture and protect us, too. I started thinking about the little things in my life, where God was there, putting a heart in my hand to carry me through the day. I'm going to be looking for those from now on!

Used by permission of Group Publishing, copyright 2009, Group.com/women.

To learn more about how much God loves you, click here: Salvation.

Distant Sisters

As we enter the holiday season you may find yourself preparing to celebrate familiar traditions or starting new ones. Our church family is blessed with the knowledge of many cultures through our missionaries.

Andrea Pitcher tells us the Czech Republic is considered to be the most atheistic country on Earth. As such, it has some very odd traditions around Christmas and Easter. You can't celebrate Christmas and Easter if Jesus was never born or raised from the dead!

Christmas is celebrated on December 24th and is the day which marks the week-long holiday, culminating at New Years Day. Since it is the first day of the New Years Holiday it is a day in which you clean your apartment top to bottom and set up your Christmas tree. Family comes over in the evening to help with the tree decorating. A traditional Christmas meal is fried carp and potato salad. Moms spend several days in early December baking highly decorated cut out cookies and these are eaten all month and served as dessert to Christmas dinner. Until recently presents weren't exchanged among family members, although this tradition has started with the arrival of stores from Western Europe which are now advertising and selling Christmas gift products.

We have taken the Czech tradition of making elaborate Christmas cookies and used it as an outreach for our church. One Sunday night each December we have a Cookie Exchange in which women from our community bring their cookies to share and exchange. Women love to show off their handwork and admire cookies made by others.

One of the most coveted cookies at this exchange is the brown eyed susans that I make each year. I import peanut butter, brown sugar and hershey's kisses to make them as a special treat. People come to the event just to try the American chocolate chip cookies and the peanut butter & kiss cookies I bake. This is one of Ken's favorite nights of church outreach!

Easter is not celebrated in Czech since, under communism, they did not believe God or Jesus even exist. However, the day after we celebrate our Easter they have a holiday which is called "Easter Monday". It is the official kick off of Spring. People hike up to the mountain peak near our home and make an effigy of "old man winter" which they place in the mountain stream as a symbol of sending away Winter and bringing in Spring. There is a tradition on that day in which little boys decorate birch tree limbs with ribbons and chase little girls with them. If a boy hits a girl with his "Spring Stick" the girl has to give him candy. This was taken from an ancient fertility ritual in which women were switched with sticks to strengthen them for pregnancy. Not the best holiday to be a little girl!

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Learn more about our missionaries by visiting the site available by clicking online here.

A Youthful Take on Old Favorites
by Alexandra DeFranco

Behold... the Bridegroom Cometh!!! (cont.)
by Jan Jalowiec

To begin to fully understand more of these parallels, I had to gain a better understanding of the Jewish betrothal and wedding traditions. Jesus was a Jewish man, and as such is a Jewish Savior! He betrothed himself to us in beauty, law and love! Most of the traditions that I will look at are from ancient times, but there are devout Jews who still practice many of these traditions today.

In an ancient Jewish betrothal, the prospective groom would defer to his father for the choice of his bride. Some men were betrothed at a very young age and some even before their birth. The young man showed great love and trust in his father as he accepted the choice that was made for him. The next thing that happened in securing the bride was establishing a "bride price." This is different from a dowry as we know it today, as this price was set by the girl's father, and was usually very costly to establish her worth. The groom-to-be had to agree to pay this "bride price" before the betrothal was legally binding, and it might cost him everything he had. Silver, gold, livestock, and food goods were often the "currency" used to pay the "bride price." In very poor families, sometimes their most prized possession would be sold to secure the money that was required. This often was the family torah which was their copy of God's word.

Now that the bride price was set and he was committed to pay it, the next event was the official proposal! The whole family was involved, and unlike our engagements which are often filled with surprise and suspense, this event had a specific date and was well known in advance! The groom would prepare a beautiful document called a "ketubah" which declared all of his promises to this young woman. He would promise to love her, provide for her, protect and keep her. This was done in writing for her to read over and over as a declaration of his commitment to her. He would go to her home and knock on the door. In Jewish culture, a woman was highly regarded and she would never be forced to marry a man she did not want to, so at this moment she could either accept or reject him by opening the door, or not!

If she rejected him, he left...but if she opened the door great ceremony and celebration occurred! This was the date that they were officially considered married, and every legal event started now. She would have prepared an elaborate meal that they shared in. His father poured a "betrothal cup" for the bride, and she drank of it to symbolize her complete acceptance of the proposal. The groom often gave her gifts to show his love for her. Sometimes he would provide her actual wedding garment, and the most symbolic gift was a simple gold band that she wore on her right index finger. It was placed where she would see it every day doing any and all of her chores and routines.

After the meal had ended and the gifts were given, the groom took his leave! This began the betrothal period in which they would neither see nor speak with each other! For a period of several months or up to two years, their only communication would be through an appointed liaison. They both had many things that needed to be accomplished before the day of the wedding ceremony. He stated to her his intention to build her a home in his father's house, and when it is done, he would surely come for her. Thinking of the many months that must pass, she took hope in knowing her time would be very busy while she waited for her groom's return.

While she was not building a physical home, her tasks were numerous! She must learn all there was to know about becoming a wife. Her mother and extended family did all they could to teach her what she would need to know. She also had to make swaddling bands - ornate embroidered cloths that would be used during the ceremony to tie their hands together in great symbolism. Her wedding gown needed to be decorated and elaborately finished, as no bride wants to be boring or simple on her wedding day! The other thing she needed to do was a ceremonial cleansing called a "mikveh". This was done with her mother in an outdoor spring-fed pool, and great attention was paid to every detail of cleansing herself. Over and over again she submerged herself repeatedly into the water, each time curling up to a small ball under the water. As she emerged, she stretched out in a great picture of transformation that symbolized her change from a single girl to a married woman.

Alas the months of waiting have passed! Over and over she has read and re-read her ketubah - reminding herself of his love and promises to her. All of this waiting may have caused her to become weary, but the gold ring she wore was a hard and tangible reminder of his promises. Her heart and mind were comforted with the thought that "He will come for me". She knew from her mother and older friends that he could not come until their home was ready. Her groom must be working long into each night building their home, furniture, acquiring their dishes for cooking and tools needed to make a living. She rested in knowing that his father would make sure he did a good job... but the waiting! Finally a day came when their trusted liaison made a subtle statement, something like "the house is looking very good!" And she knew... the time was coming close! She made sure everything was ready, every night setting out the dress and preparing herself... it may be tonight! True to tradition, he never told her the actual day he would come for her- he wanted to steal her from her home with great surprise!

And finally the night came... she was awakened from her sleep with a blow of the horn and heard his friend shout through the night air "Behold the Bridegroom cometh!" He was here! She speedily donned her dress and ran to meet him! They went to the home he had prepared for her, and for up to seven days, they were only with each other. What a union and reunion! All of the months of waiting had been worth it as she prepared for him and he made the home ready. This is the beginning of their life together, and they have great joy and expectation for their futures.

As you read this, I am sure there were many things that you recognized as exactly what Christ did for us and promised to do in the future! Jesus in full Jewish tradition betrothed himself to us. God the Father chose us from the foundation of the earth (Eph 1:13), and Jesus accepted that choice for himself (John 5:30). He then bought us with a price, his own life, and he paid it willingly. (Heb 12:2) When he "proposed" to us, he presented us with all of his promises in the Word of God, our ketubah! Jesus stood at the door and knocked (Rev 3:20), and we opened the door of our hearts when we accepted him as our saviour. Every time we take communion, we remember him and his promises to us, and drink the cup of betrothal as a picture of our commitment to wait for him and look for his appearing. Then he promised to go and prepare a place for us, and come again to receive us to himself! (John 14:1-3)

While we remain here during our betrothal period, we need to read our ketubah over and over. We need to keep fresh in our minds and hearts all of the promises of our ketubah so we keep hope and remain faithful to our betrothed! Our mikveh is spiritual cleansing that occurs as we allow the Word of God to work in us and change our hearts and minds. We must submerge ourselves over and over, each time surfacing closer and closer to the image of Christ as a new person. (II Cor 5:17) Also as we wait for our Groom, we are to be looking for him! We have the hope of his blessed return (Titus 2:3); we are to be undistracted (II Peter 3:17) and we are to be ready (Mark 13:35-36).

I hope this look into some of the traditions of an ancient Jewish wedding blessed you as much as it did me. There are many other parallels that I encourage you to look into for yourselves. We are charged to study to show ourselves approved (II Tim 2:15) and this is a great study to dig deeper into. The great love Jesus Christ has for us, his church and bride, is rich and deep. You can only draw closer to Him as you learn more about it, and fall in love with Him in a fresh and lasting way. No matter how great your relationship with the Savior is now, truly ... the best is yet to come!

Behold... the Bridegroom Cometh!!!

Our Family Traditions (cont.)
Barb Stiles

5. At birthday time, each one got to choose their favorite meal for supper that night. Some choices were interesting when the children were little!

6. Hospitality was the norm in our home. We constantly had people in and out as our family was growing up. Thus, our children were exposed to people from all over the world (evangelists, missionaries, church people). Our children have grown up to also share their homes and meals with others.

7. Teasing and laughter were always found in our home. "...but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast." Prov. 15:15b. A good sense of humor and being able "to laugh" at oneself has been invaluable to our family. Our children look back at our home as a place they had fun. One of our sons-in-law made the comment, that he would rather be with our side of the family than his. "Our side has more fun!" (He has a wonderful, godly family.)

8. We are board game players. When the children were young, I played with them to teach them how to play a game, take turns and how to win or lose graciously. As they got older, we had some real competitions going. We still do today when we get together. Scrabble is a competition I have had with my oldest daughter since 1986. We keep score for the year. I taught her how to play, but she wins most years! Mom seems to be all my family's favorite person to beat! Oh, well!

9. The Christmas traditions we have had over the years are:

• Opening gifts on Christmas Eve to avoid the need get up at the crack of dawn and also downplay the Santa Claus myth.
• I make a homemade Chocolate Fondue to dip fruit in and to put on ice cream for Christmas Eve. Yum!
• On Christmas morning, we wake up to see our stockings have been filled - usually to overflowing. This tradition brings excitement to waking up Christmas morning. My children now fill my stocking!

10. We have a tradition of working and playing hard. Our children worked at home when young, worked for businesses as teens and have grown up to be hard-working, productive people. All work and no play make Johnny a dull boy, so we have always had "playtime" as well. Work and play need to be balanced in any home.

11. We seem to have a tradition of teachers and preachers, although, not on purpose. However, we are delighted it worked that way. Mom and three daughters are teachers. Dad and son are preachers, with one daughter married to a preacher.

12. A tradition that began when the children were old enough to stay home for a couple hours by themselves was a Saturday morning breakfast date for Mom and Dad. It was time for us to "catch up" on each other and it was good for the kids to see. The tradition has continued in our grown children in varying forms

13. With our family being spread across four states and halfway around the world, we make it a priority to get together in the summer somewhere, sometime. It is a tradition we all look forward to each year. It is quality family time.

14. One last tradition I have started is to be available to go take care of my grandchildren, so their parents can get away for a “time alone.” My parents and in-laws did that and it was a great help to my marriage and family life. I thought it worthy to continue.

Our family motto has been the following for the past 39 years. Each of the family members has a plaque in their home which reads:

Live Simply---Prov. 15:16 "Better is little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasures and trouble therewith."

Love Much---Prov. 17:17 "A friend loveth at all times."

Laugh Often---Prov. 17:22a "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine."

It is never too late to start some traditions in your family. Some traditions give your family an identity, some make memories, and some create a close family bond. Even though my family has spread far and wide, our family traditions are still alive and well and keep us close to one another.

Barb and her husband, Tom, are missionaries who support the work of the New Yorker's Family Research Foundation, Inc. (NYFRF) educating the Body of Christ concerning the legislation and trends that would effect the family, religious freedom and morality.

Learn more about the Stiles by visiting the site available by clicking online here.

Distant Sisters (cont.)

Wendy Stiles explains the family unit has been very important in Japan for over a thousand years. Some of the following traditions are still followed by most families; other traditions are changing or losing popularity in modern times. On New Year's Day, thousands of families go the the Shinto shrine to pray and to purchase a good luck charm to put in their cars. On January 1, families eat special food called osechiryori which the mothers prepare. Children receive money (sometimes a couple hundred dollars' worth) from aunts, uncles, friends, parents, and grandparents. Much of the money is saved for their future education. For Girls' Day in March, mothers and daughters set up elaborate doll displays on tiered shelves in their houses. The new school year starts in April. Parents and students dress up for the important school entrance ceremonies. Families display koi (carp) flags for their sons on Boys' Day in May. Going to the beach and to grandparents' houses are summer family activities. Obon is an August holiday in which families light bonfires outside their homes to guide the ancestral spirits back for a visit. After a couple of days, they send the spirits back again. In October, Japanese schools have an all-day sports event with games, dances, and contests. Mothers make special picnic lunches which the family eats together. In December, families buy Christmas cakes which are white sponge cakes with whipped cream and strawberries.

Julie Tsoukalas shares South Africa's challege for them. Their culture is dominated by tradition and ritual. One that affects us as missionaries in our efforts to minister to the people is the tradition of lobola. This is when a family sets a price on a daughter who is to be wed, and the man desiring to marry her has to pay the set amount. This affects us because many Deaf men are poor and cannot afford to pay it. So, the couple ends up living together, having children, and doing all the things married people do- but without it being a legal union before the government or God. Also, many couples who can afford it see themselves as married after it is paid, and never go through with a wedding ceremony. So you can see why this is a challenge for us.

It is evident that that traditions around the world are very different from our experience in America and in Christian homes. May the Lord bless all who serve Him in distant lands in a very special way.

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